Betty Martin’s 3-Minute Game: A Simple Practice for Connection

Created by Betty Martin, the 3-Minute Game is a powerful, structured exercise that helps people explore touch, boundaries, and communication in a clear, consent-based way.

At its core are two simple questions:

• “How do you want me to touch you?”

• “How do you want to touch me?”

Using a 3-minute timer, partners take turns giving and receiving touch in response to specific requests not be sexual in nature. It is more about the giving and receiving of touch. The giver follows directions exactly, while the receiver stays connected to their body and adjusts as needed.

Who Is This For?

This practice is beneficial for:

• Individuals reconnecting with their body

• Couples wanting to improve communication

• Those navigating changes in intimacy (illness, stress, life transitions)

• Anyone wanting a more mindful, consent-based approach to touch

Why It Works

This practice helps you:

• Get clear on what you actually want

• Practice asking for it without apology

• Experience giving and receiving as separate, intentional acts

• Build trust and reduce guesswork in intimacy

It often reveals something important: many of us aren’t used to knowing—or saying—what we want.

The Takeaway

Betty Martin’s 3-Minute Game brings intimacy back to presence, clarity, and choice.

It’s simple, but deeply impactful—reminding us that connection starts with awareness and honest communication.